Email With Derek

and I have been emailing funny stupid shit to one another for a while now. I have a wide array of sports that I can cover, but Derek matches me blow for blow on every topic to be honest. He even knows the WNBA to be honest and agreed with me that the Liberty blew it picking Rebecca Lobo. Yet, other topics do come up like how Tony should give the green light for Phil to get whacked, or how you have to love Turtle, he's o.k. with getting Vince's leftovers. In any case, this is a poker blog so I figured I would copy one of our conversations. Oh, in case you don't know about the Burrito streak, send Derek an email and ask him about it...long live the burrito streak.

Derek Writes:
how was AC?? did you CRUSH the competition?? i was thinking about going but i changed my mind . .. . i had too much shit to do.

yo . . . pauly told me it was f train's birthday or something like that this weekend

I respond:
Pfft...an Elephant crushed me and he came in the form of a 110 pound Asian guy who would laugh at me when he hit his river card...serious, he would laugh like in one of those Karate flicks you watch in Chinatown for five bucks, you know, where hookers take their john's to the back row for a blow job. You know the laugh I'm talking about, when the young kid on the block hits the old vet with every crazy Kung-Fu chop in the book...the crane, the rabbit, the rat, and I even threw the praying mantis at him...and he gave me the crazy ass...hahaha! laugh. How do you escape these guys? Then when I did finally beat him in one hand...he scratched his fu-man-chu goatee and said, "I lose with yo money...hahaha!" It was a nightmare, Derek. I tell you $300.00 dollars later I was sitting there wondering where all my chips went. I suppose the guy could tell the look of confusion on my face as I looked for my red chips, for he looked over and pointed to his stack of chips and lifted his ugly cheap-ass 2.00 dollar Chinatown sunglasses and winked at me! So you asked me how things went...well that sums it up pretty much. Luckily a couple of fish sat down later on and I was able to scoop a few big pots to end up down only 150.00.

Yeah, F-Train was having some party like in Red Hook or something...I was like, there is no way I can make it back on time from AC then go get drunk in Red Hook...the fucken Westies control that area and every block they don't control the old mafia guys have in lock down. Why the fuck would I want to walk drunk in that area, man.

posted by Joaquin "The Rooster" Ochoa @ 7:50 AM